Progris Report 1

 i've been feeling a lot happier nowadays, but also lonely in some way. 

There is a lot of distance between me and some comrades, the pressure to "tolerate" them is off now. i have a feeling we never got along and they weren't as fond of me as i had assumed. Clearly, i wasn't fond of them either.

i wish i was kinder and more empathetic. i need to be able to see beyond what people seem to show. Judging them for however much i know, isn't fixing any problems. I do hope that they are doing well and continue to do so. i hope they become better people than they already are, and i don't mean that in a snarky tone. i wish for myself to be better too. 

i am not as self centred in real life, i just seem tiresome in this post. the amount of times that 'I' has been used is concerning though. 

when i am out on a walk, i have all kinds of thoughts i want to pen down for this blog but i forget once im back. ill have to be more careful from now on. they are mostly about my perceptions on people. They are things i deeply hesitate to say in real life, but i want an outlet where my identity doesn't cloud other peoples judgment of me. the opinions might be shaped by the world around me but i want to state them as they are, unapologetically, without having to worry. 

the blog is not going to be extravagant or showy because i will treat as a digital diary and i don't decorate diaries. 

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